Ice Cream, Aliens and a Not Quite Human Pregnancy
by scifigeekgirl
Summary: A pregnant Rose is banished from Torchwood until she has the baby. She is not happy and everyone is hiding and avoiding her. She and her unborn alien baby are bored and hungry. Torchwood leans that trouble finds Rose no matter where she is.


a/n: For Bittie752 and Who_in_Whoville who both need some fluff. I hope this brightens your day as I adore both of you! Completely unbetaed and all mistakes are mine. This is part of the Time, Eternals and Not so Domestic Life Verse. Pregnant Rose fic.

The dark day had finally arrived. Today was the first day of Rose Tyler's temporary banishment from Torchwood. They had all conspired against her, Pete, her mum, Jake, Chelsea and even sweet Mandy. No matter what she said, they stood firm. Rose thought it was grossly unfair. All she did was eat a bowl of orzo with gummy worms drizzled with raspberry jam over it while visiting Malcolm's lab. Was it her fault that there was a diplomat from the Oferni trade consortium visiting and that it happened to look like she was devouring something that looked like their deity; or, that some of Malcolm's team chose to vomit all over an experiment after watching her eat it after hearing the Oferni's accusations about cannibalism. Seriously, it was certainly not her fault that the Oferni ran horrified from Torchwood and refused all communications with Earth accusing them of being monsters. It wasn't like she could control her cravings.

If it was anyone's fault, it was her little part alien baby who was now a very prominent baby bump. Not that Rose blamed the baby, quite the contrary. If baby wanted that concoction who was she to judge. She'd seen the Doctor put worse in his mouth. She just didn't feel it was fair to exile her from Torchwood for one little craving.

The worst part of her banishment was how easily the Doctor had turned to the dark side. She would have expected him to have at least stood up for her, but traitor that he was, he agreed with Pete and skulked away to go hide in the alien artifact archive deep in the bowls of Torchwood. Actually, he hadn't emerged since Chelsea had taken her home.

She supposed she should be worried since it had been almost a day now but it's not like she wouldn't know if he was in trouble. One of the benefits of being telepathically linked was you knew if your husband was lying in the basement of Torchwood injured by some piece of alien tech he decided to sonic. No, he was hiding. Rose wandered about the manor, periodically rubbing her stomach and talking to her baby about how his daddy couldn't hide forever. She paused in the solarium and smiled a bit when she remembered the first time she felt her baby's tiny mind reach out to her and announce himself.

She had fallen asleep helping the Doctor work on their still growing TARDIS. He had been babbling on about the complexities of integrating a new oscillating vortex mobilizer unit and she had dozed off. It had been a very pleasant dream. She was walking in the garden on a warm spring day. The sun was shining and the roses were blooming. Perry was there. Her dear Perry, who she had lost to the Garden of the Hesperides, still made appearances in her dreams. It was a comfort to her to still have that small part of him with her.

"Green tidings to you, my lady Rose," he greeted her from a bed of petunias he was planting.

"Hi Perry," Rose greeted back as she sat on a bench nearby, inhaling the sweet scent of honeysuckle while rubbing her pregnant stomach.

"You and your offspring are as fervent and vibrant as spring in the garden. Indeed, I believe the young one is pleased with how you have tended the garden within your family. He sees how you have sown the soil which supports your family with your love and devotion and imbibed it with faith and fortitude and continue to protect and encourage growth with your courage."

Rose smiled at Perry. She didn't always understand what he said but just listening to his garden wisdom comforted her. She suspected there was a hidden meaning in all of this.

"You think the baby will have a gift for gardening?" she asked.

Perry stood up and walked over to her and sat on the stone bench. "The garden has many needs and requires the nurturing spirit and positive energy of those tending it. The garden you and your child tend is vast and calling out to you. It needs you like it needs sufficient light and moisture to thrive. You must take care to tend to yourself as well as there are many creatures who would invade this sacred space and wreak havoc. You are the heart of this green oasis and must take care."

Rose looked up at him with tears in her eyes as she felt the baby kick. "I miss you Perry. It…It's so hard being strong. I miss you're quiet encouragement and strength. It hurts that my baby won't know…"

He smiled at her and suddenly a pot of Forget Me Not's appeared before her. "My lady Rose, a part of me was sown into your garden long ago. I am always here."

Rose and awakened with a start from that dream to find the Doctor sucking a burnt finger and muttering alien curses. She gasped when she felt a warmth envelop her and she smelled the scent of sugar cookies and cotton. The Doctor paused with a finger in his mouth, his eyes widening and raced over to her, babbling about their brilliant fetus, developing Time Lord temporal stem cells and basically cooing to her abdomen. Rose smiled watching him so excited and happy. It was a good thing after all they had been through and she knew deep down, it tickled her baby who it appeared was making his or her presence known.

After that, Rose was able to anticipate the babies curious little intrusions although at one point when he or she was being too much like his or her father and slipping into Rose's dreams to be entertained or keeping Rose up all night with constant movement or sitting on her bladder, it was necessary for the Doctor to pull telepathic Daddy time and calm the baby or lecture said infant on Mummy's need for sleep.

Those were the days when being pregnant were not so trying. Lately, though, things had not been so easy and Rose was getting impatient. With no Torchwood to occupy her and her alien baby, what would they do? Rose paced around the house feeling her unborn child just as out of sorts as she was. A picture popped in her mind.

"Oh that's brilliant!" she whispered and patted her baby bulge. "You are definitely Mummy's child! Chips it is and then maybe ice cream afterward. I think you and I have both been craving something from that new ice cream shop with all those gorgeous flavors! Maybe they'll have that red hot banana flavor or chocolate covered bacon…"

Rose felt like rainbows were materializing in her mind and grabbed her purse to head out. It never occurred to her to let anyone know what she was up to. They were all traitors and she wasn't about to share her chips and ice cream with them. Let them hide out in Torchwood. That didn't mean she was locked up in the manor after all. She could do as she pleased!

Her first stop was for chips which she slathered in vinegar for her and raspberry jam for the baby. The baby seemed to have a thing for raspberry jam all of a sudden so a jar of it was always in Rose's bigger on the inside pocket book. Other than some odd looks at the chippy, all was going well and she was having a good day. Rose was finally starting to think she might be able to handle life without being on call by Torchwood or without her alien husband who seemed to be hiding out rather than helping her. He would be on his own from now on. See if he got snuggle time any time soon!

It was at the ice cream shop that things went pear shaped. She was at the counter waiting on her red hot banana and chocolate covered bacon ice cream sundae when a woosh of hot air filled the ice cream parlour and two fuzzy rotund yellow creatures with orange spots all over them appeared and pointed weapons at everyone. The creatures had two eyestalks with bright blue eyes and were making menacing gestures with the weapons held in both their short little arms. They screamed in what Rose was sure was their native language at everyone that basically it was a stick up. Thankfully, the TARDIS was translating for Rose so she knew what they were getting on about.

She was not amused and neither was the baby. Baby wanted the ice cream sundae NOW. "Oi!" Rose shouted out and stared down at the aliens. "Don't you point those things at me!" She then kicked said weapons out of the alien's hands which was impressive considering her baby bump. She was a bit chuffed she managed it and sent a mental thank you to her Tae Kwon Do trainer. She then turned angry mother eyes on the aliens who seemed stunned this had happened. Other patrons ran out of the ice cream parlour screaming.

"You two have got a lot of nerve comin' in to a place like this with weapons!"

The two aliens turned to each and started whispering. Rose picked up a stuffed bear sitting on the counter and threw it at them bonking one of the aliens on the head. "I'm talkin' to you! Don't be rude! Now see here, if you want to come down to my planet causin' trouble, you can at least do it some place where there aren't families and kids who could get hurt! And what's with robbin' an ice cream parlour anyway? That's a bit rubbish!"

"She unconsciously rubbed her baby bump to calm down her unborn offspring which was now having the equivalent of a tantrum at being denied ice cream."

Rose glared at the aliens more. "Now see what you've done! You've upset the little alien baby!"

The aliens, which only stood as high as her hip and had what looked like a mouth the side of a normal human's only hidden in the fuzz, gaped. Their eyestalks twitched and they scampered back away from her. "Please, angry mother, do not harm us. We only came for the sweetened frozen treats. We meant no actual harm. It was only our craving for the delicious human frozen goodness…. Please don't tell our parents!"

At that comment, Rose rolled her eyes. Hands on her hips and tapping her foot she ordered them to sit down. She turned and grabbed her sundae and peered over the counter at the cowering clerk. "Scuse me, could you get a couple of bowls of…" She turned to the aliens sitting in shame at a table, their eye stalks drooping. "Oi, you lot, what flavor you want?"

The creatures perked up and their eye stalks vibrated with excitement. "Vanilla and earl grey tea ice cream with candied bacon and butterscotch sauce!" said one and the other chirped in, "Peppermint with cracked peppercorns and the jalapeno jelly sauce!"

The clerk stared. Rose motioned with her head. "Well, go on then. I'm buying."

Torchwood arrived minutes later to find Rose having a heart to heart or mother to alien child talk with the alien delinquents, all of them enjoying their odd assortment of ice cream. The Doctor walked in followed by Jake and Chelsea. They stared in confusion, their weapons tucked safely away. They had received a call about trouble at the ice cream parlour and were told a pregnant blonde was lecturing the dangerous aliens. It didn't take a genius to figure out who said blonde was. Even with all their collective experience and intellect, they still couldn't believe what they were seeing before them.

"Rose," the Doctor said tentatively, scratching at the back of his neck. "Um whadda are you doin?"

Rose pulled the spoon out of her mouth, stared at it before shooting an unhappy look at him. "What does it look like?" she asked sarcastically.

"That you're eatin' ice cream with dangerous aliens!" Chelsea said gruffly.

Rose rolled her eyes. "They are not dangerous. They're just kids out for a prank and some ice cream. It won't be long before their parents are here and they know they're in trouble."

She turned to the two aliens who were slurping ice cream out of their bowls. "All right you two, you got something to say to this lot before they start getting antsy and shoot something?"

The aliens dropped their bowls and ducked under the table. Rose sighed and shot an annoyed look at the Torchwood team. "Now see what you've done!"

"What we've done!" Jake finally shouted. They came here armed and you're eatin' ice cream with 'em!"

A holographic image of a larger more adult version of the aliens appeared. Rose smiled and said hello. The aliens apologized for their children; transmatted said naughty alien children away and then transmatted two cartons of their most treasured mineral ore as reparations. Rose thanked them and went back to enjoying her ice cream. The rest of the team swept the ice cream parlour, picking up the discarded weapons which ended up being nothing more than toys. A few winced at Rose's sundae.

The Doctor sat down at the table and stuck his finger in her ice cream. Rose batted at him with her spoon. "Oi! That's for me and the baby! Go get your own!"

He pulled his finger back and stuck it into his mouth swirling the ice cream around. "Is that, banana ice cream with red hots in it?" he asked as the gorgeous flavors exploded in his mouth.

"Maybe, but it's mine and the baby's. Besides, you're hiding and not being supportive so why should I share?"

The Doctor tugged at his ear. "Wellll, I may have misjudged the situation just a bit."

"A bit?" Rose asked arching a brow at him.

"Fine, a lot! I know you can't control your cravings but…you Rose Tyler are scary when you get all…you know hormonal and annoyed."

At first Rose was quite angry at this but then she thought about how scared he was and started giggling. He looked unsure how to react but then smiled and shifted his chair over. "I am sorry, Rose. I promise I'll try to be there for you more and be less…"

"An unsupportive git?" Rose suggested as she ate another spoonful of ice cream.

The Doctor, who was not the most sensitive person and often stuck his foot in his mouth, wisely understood now was not a time to disagree. He kissed her softly, apologized and promised to bring her as much oddly flavored ice cream as she wanted. She even agreed to share it with him.

He, and as it turned out later, Pete, decided that banishing Rose from Torchwood and generally avoiding her was not the appropriate action to take. No, from now on, it was better for everyone, including Torchwood, to keep an eye on the Doctor's pregnant trouble magnet and do everything they could to keep her and her unborn child happy. For the most part it worked. That is until she went into labor and then all bets were off but that is a tale for another story.


End file.
